Crazy

This thing is driving me nuts.

I feel a teeny bit upset every time I checked my email. There is no notification of any sort that has come in. Ok. Upset is incorrect. Cause I feel much more than that.

Sometimes I get irritated. I mean, hello.. what is these people doing. I thought they need people? Sometimes I get this unwanted feeling. Am I that worthless? Sometimes I get annoyed. I compared myself to some random people. Am I a least capable person than who they are?

Then I gave up feeling. Because they are worthless and not to mention useless. I wanted them more than they wanted me. So I continue searching. Looking. Hunting.

It’s almost like running out of air while scuba diving. My tank is empty. I’m calling out for help. I did everything I remembered them teaching me. My hand signal and everything. But my vision gets blur. But then again I continue doing what I can to draws attention. Problem is: Will someone save me? If someone does, will they take me out of this place where I can no longer breathe? Or will they simply hand me their extra regulator?

Only God knows.

And the cycle begins by itself all over again.